Thursday, January 12, 2012

Making it

I have read in many self-help books that what derails many people in pursuit of success is fear of that very success. For instance, I knew a friend who was on the verge of making it as a stand-up comedian, and as he got close to getting a big break, he mentally crumbled. But I never realized that I suffered from it too.

Right now some things are afoot in my life where I could be living in the closest thing to “Happily ever after” I could possibly want. And it's left me scare spitless. I am sometimes unsure of myself. And I have had to actively work on breathing and relaxing away from anxiety about it.

The anxiety isn't fear that it won't happen, mind you, but instead a feeling that I am somehow inauthentic because my dreams are coming true and that didn't used to happen for me. It's related to my previous thoughts about feeling like becoming a different person.

This is tangible evidence that the program can work changes in your life. But it still is disconcerting getting used to the new me. By the way, I am claiming that the new me is the real me and the old me is just that, the old me. It's a subtle difference, but I think it is helping with the adjustment. If I said that how I am now is not me, then I would be rejecting the very changes and happiness I have sought. And I want those things. So this is me now. It is different than the “me” before. But it is real and I am claiming it.

When was the last time you thought of David Naughton? Certainly sooner than I did before today.

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