Thursday, December 08, 2011

The winds of change continue blowing

Dear Stella,

I am writing you this letter because as part of my working in ACoA, I need to make amends to those I have harmed and you are one of those I have harmed. We have only a few precious years on this planet and I squandered those three years we shared together by not being upfront and honest with you about how I thought, how I felt, who I was, and what I wanted. I so wanted to make our relationship work, that I became a chameleon and went along with pretty much anything you had to say, thinking that doing so might keep you from abandoning me. In fact, it may very well have been the cause of our relationship ending

I cannot give you those years back and there is nothing I can do to ease the hurt that came attendant with our break up. The best that I can do is to say that I am truly sorry and to return [personal item I still possess] to you. I hope you're happy in your new life.



Dear Winnie,

I am writing you this letter because as part of my working in ACoA, I need to make amends to those I have harmed and you are one of those I have harmed. Even though I knew how hard it was for my mother to be in a relationship with my father because of the alcohol, I so enjoyed talking to you and being with you (before you passed out) that I tried to make a relationship with you work and you decided you wanted it too. So when our relationship failed as it was destined to do, you were very hurt. The conversation we had where I was trying to dump you I could tell was tearing you apart and it was no surprise to me that you stopped me and "dumped" me instead.

Please believe that I never wanted to hurt you. From mutual acquaintances, I understand that after we broke up you stopped drinking entirely and have had a fulfilling life and career and I am very glad for you. I wish I could make some sort of amends to you, but it seems from the pain you took a much greater gift for yourself than anything I could ever give. I wish you well.




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