Thursday, December 22, 2011

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.

Drama addiction is probably the hardest part of ACoA to control. You do have to stick up for yourself and take care of yourself. We often use this, however, as an excuse to allow us to render our lives into a soap opera with us as the lead.

What we don't see, at least right off, is the damage it causes. First of all, it keeps wounds fresh. If you're trying to get a wound to heal, while you do have to clean it you at some point have to leave it alone and let it scab over.

This constant stirring of the pot leads to another bit of damage, the masking of the real problem. The drama addiction never lets you get past the causes of addiction in the first place by keeping you focused instead on the individual episode instead of the larger issues in play.

And lastly, it's just bad for your health. It creates actual physical symptoms that do actual damage to your cells.

The key thing to remember is mindfulness is paramount. I found myself in the heat of an episode and it was only by taking a moment to step outside of myself to look objectively at what I was really doing to know that I was in the throes of it. So feel how you feel. Just keep a close watch on what you're actually doing.

I keep my eyes wide open all the time (unless, like right now, I am tired enough to fall asleep).

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