Wednesday, February 08, 2012

I made it through the rain

I was watching a televangelist the other day. He was talking about how if you're on your way to what God intends for you than even the bad things and setbacks are to ultimately work in your favor. He sighted his own example of his father's illness and eventual death resulting in him having to take over said ministry and become the successful preacher that he is.

It seems to hold in my life as well. I am a black man (I'm too old to be African American) and I have long held that my ancestors getting kidnapped and enslaved was for the family bloodline probably the best thing that could have happened. Life in Africa was and continues to be hard. My life today would be far different had I been born in Africa.

My father and I have a relationship now, but I would not have gotten to know my father as a person had not my mother died. I adored my mother and visits home were spent primarily with her. Moreover my mother had a tendency to overwhelm a room. My father said little, not because he had nothing to say, but because there was little room to say it. This is not at all to say that I am happy my mother is dead. It's just to note that had my father died first, I might never have gotten to know him as I now do.

My marriage falling apart was the impetus to get into therapy, which eventually found me in ACoA and finally making progress on things I never before understood about myself. I have a friend who is an adult child of an alcoholic whose life hasn't fallen apart and because of that does not want to hear about how paternal alcoholism has made life worse. This person will not even entertain ACA because he or she has not received the gift of an unmanageable life. And for me that's what it was, a gift.

Fly Lady Update:

I put the dishes away and cleaned the kitchen a little on Tuesday. I had to work later than I had planned and didn't have the time I wanted to devote to the housecleaning. But I at least made a little time. Just need to keep getting back on that horse.

Barry Manilow

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